on being mormon.

Let me start by saying that, I do not believe that the character of person is determined by their religion and that I do believe that the outcome of a persons judgement day is determined by their character.

Over the last several years I've been having an internal battle with being a member of the LDS church. I believe in SO many things that the church encourages its members to do. I believe that family is the most important thing above all else, I believe in God and Christ, I believe in being honest and treating others with kindness and respect, I believe in hard work and education, I believe in being humble and treating your body as the gift that it is and taking care of it, I believe in spirituality and among many many other beliefs that the church and I share, I believe that God is the only person with the right to judge another.

but sometimes.... I am literally sick to my stomach when I think about some of the things that the church has done, believes or  preaches. Now to be fair, I recognize that I am fairly uneducated on a lot of matters of the church so some of what I am about so say upsets me really could be a bunch of BS. 

• The whole, patriarchal- men are the head of the household- only men can hold the priesthood - machismo thing quite frankly pisses me off. I believe in equality in ALL things.
• Black men were not allowed to hold the priesthood for several decades? This really makes my blood boil. I believe that God created all men equally black men, white men, mexican men, etc. 
• Polygamy. Now for any non-LDS people reading this, the church does not practice nor believe in polygamy and hasn't for many, many years (if you thought they did, you are mistaken and thinking of the FLDS, a break off of the LDS church that the LDS church does not support) however, the church did, at one time, practice Polygamy and there are a lot of rationals but I do not believe in polygamy and I think that it is very, very wrong that it was ever practiced. I also think that polygamy falls under the whole "men are in charge" crap. 
• That the church discourages interracial marriage. This is the one that I am most concerned about being hearsay but I have heard it repeatedly throughout my life. I often think that the most beautiful people in the world are the product of two people of different races procreating and I think that God is just that clever and intended for us to become one giant melting pot. Don't give me the excuse that "interracial marriages are harder"
• The consumption of alcohol, coffee, and tea is not okay. I understand why the church does not support these things because I do believe that addictions are bad and that we need to take care of our bodies and unfortunately many people cannot moderate themselves but I honestly think its better to drink a glass of wine every now  than it is to take a chemical such as Zoloft or Prozac every day ( I could go into a lot more depth on this because I realize that some people truly have a chemical imbalance and require medication to help them live a happy life but  A LOT of people that takes SSRI’s do not need them… another day, another rant). Side note: I do not believe in the consumption of tobacco or illegal drugs.

I recognize that most of my beliefs tend to side with the church but the things that I have listed that I don’t believe in are too big to just set aside.

I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea here. I love a lot of LDS people and I fully support the choices that they are making with their lives and many of them have been incredible examples to me throughout my life. I take it very personally when people bash Mormons and make blanket statements about them and it makes very angry when people go around making ignorant statements about the church and its members. I once over heard a girl telling several other people “Mormons make their missionaries wear the same pair of special underwear everyday for two years” this is a wildly false statement and the girl that said it is a dumbass. 

I have also had a lot of non-LDS people be incredible examples to me

I have also had a lot of both LDS and non-LDS people crap all over me

All religions need to be treated with respect. If you don’t believe it, that’s fine but share your beliefs diplomatically and respectfully and be educated.

I also realize that a huge reason I have this internal battle is due to the fact that I am really put off by a lot of the actions of a lot of the members of the church and that I am being judgmental of those people and that is something I’m working on personally . 

I’m not really sure of the point of this post other than sharing the fact that I am very confused but I can tell you that I started putting more thought into this when I found myself avoiding telling people I’m Mormon because I don’t want to screw up and leave them with a bad impression of the church or its members. So yes, I was baptized and raised in the LDS church but right now I am 22 years old and trying to figure out who I am and what I believe in. 


and let me end by saying that I really truly believe that if you treat other people with kindness and are a good person, there is a spot for you in heaven.

p.s. please do not send the missionaries or visiting teachers or whoever my way.... its just annoying.